Most parents have already had some version of the “stranger danger” talk. Don't get in a car with someone you don't know. If something feels wrong, run and tell an adult. That’s all good advice, and it still applies. But if the conversation hasn't kept pace with your kid's smartphone, it has a significant blind spot.
The same risks that exist in the real world follow children onto their devices. A stranger in a game chat, a DM from an unknown account, a new “friend” who appeared in a comment thread are all encounters that happen every day, and kids often don't recognize them as the digital equivalent of a stranger walking up to them on the street. People who want to exploit children rarely announce themselves as adults. They often pretend to be kids, express similar interests, and start conversations in low-risk places, such as game chats.
Here's how to close that gap, both through both the conversations that teach kids to recognize warning signs and the device settings that limit access in the first place.
The Talk: Teaching Kids to Recognize Online Strangers
Start with a simple, direct message: online strangers are real strangers. Even on kid-friendly apps and games, kids might get messages from people they don't know. It might seem fun to make new friends, but they should never message, video chat or agree to meet someone in person who they only know from online. Even if that person seems nice or claims to be a kid, they might be lying.
Then teach them to recognize warning signs. Kids should watch for red flags that could signal an interaction with a predator, such as asking a lot of personal questions; pretending to be a kid but using adult phrases; wanting to chat privately, outside of the public venue where your child first met them; and wanting to keep the friendship a secret. And they may even ask to meet in person.
Make sure to protect their personal information. Tell children to avoid sharing details about themselves, including photos and videos, in public forums or with people they don’t know in real life. Images posted online are permanently on the internet. An anonymous username and a profile picture that doesn't show their face are two simple habits that reduce exposure significantly.
Make sure they know how to block and report. Every platform your child uses has this type of function. Walk through it with them on each app so it isn't something they have to figure out under pressure. If a stranger messages your child, asks for their personal information, or asks them to keep a secret from their parents, they should tell you right away. You might need to change account settings, report what happened to the app, or contact local law enforcement.
Lock the Doors: Device-Level Controls
The conversation equips kids to recognize danger. The settings help make sure fewer dangers reach them in the first place. Both iPhones and Android devices offer built-in tools that can prevent strangers from contacting your child at all.
On iPhone: Apple's Screen Time feature includes a setting called Communication Limits. This allows parents to choose whom their child can communicate with via Phone, FaceTime, Messages, iCloud contacts, and other supported apps during allowed screen time and during downtime. Setting this to "Contacts Only" means anyone not already in your child's contact list simply cannot get through. If an unknown number calls your child, they will see a message saying the number is not in their contacts and that their screen time settings only allow communication with contacts.
Screen Time also includes a Communication Safety feature that helps protect your child from sharing or receiving sensitive photos and videos, providing on-device guidance and age-appropriate resources to help your child make safe choices.
To set this up, you first need to set up Family Sharing on your device and add your child's Apple Account to your family group — this is what makes your child's name appear in Screen Time. Once that's done: go to Settings > Screen Time, select your child's name under Family, then tap Communication Limits. Set a Screen Time passcode during setup to prevent your child from changing these settings.
On Android: Google Family Link gives parents similar control. The first step is creating a supervised Google Account for your child and linking it to your own through the Family Link app — for children under 13, you create the account directly through Family Link; for teens, they sign in and you approve. Once linked, parents can add contacts directly from Family Link to their child's device and limit calls and texts to only those approved contacts. Children can also request to add new contacts to be approved by parents.
It's worth noting that parent-managed contact limits apply only to Google Messages and the dialer app on Android — they do not restrict communication through third-party apps, so pairing these controls with a review of installed apps matters. Also, Family Link lets parents set screen time schedules, block specific websites through Chrome, and approve every app download made through Google Play (but not side-loaded apps).
One important caveat for both platforms: Built-in parental controls manage calls, texts, and certain messaging apps — but many popular games and social platforms have their own in-app chat systems that operate independently. Those need to be addressed app by app.
Go App by App: Privacy Settings That Matter
Each platform your child uses is, in effect, its own environment with its own doors and locks. The U.S. Department of Justice recommends adjusting privacy settings and using parental controls for online games, apps, social media sites and electronic devices.
Here's where to focus:
Social media accounts. Set every account your child uses to private. On a private account, only approved followers can see posts or send messages. Disable direct messages from people they don't follow, and turn off the ability for strangers to comment on their content. Most platforms, including Instagram, TikTok and Snapchat, have these settings under "Privacy" or "Account."
Gaming platforms. Multiplayer games are one of the most common places children encounter strangers online, often without parents realizing it. Nearly every major gaming platform has chat controls. On Fortnite, Roblox, Minecraft and similar games, look for settings that limit voice and text chat to "Friends Only" or disable them entirely for younger players. Review these settings when a new game is installed, not after the fact. (Note: Minecraft’s chat controls can vary by platform.)
Photo sharing and location. Disable public comments, friend requests from strangers, and automatic activity or location sharing across social and gaming apps. Many apps request location permissions they don't actually need — deny these by default on a child's device.
C Spire's Connect & Protect plans make this easier by giving parents tools to filter content, restrict social media access, and monitor activity across the cellular network, with a guided setup so nothing gets missed.
Keep the Line Open
The most important piece of all this is what happens when something gets through, because at some point, something will. Kids who feel safe coming to their parents handle those moments very differently than kids who are afraid of getting in trouble.
Make it clear, regularly: they will not lose their phone for telling you about something uncomfortable online. Normalize checking in on their online experiences the same way you'd ask about their day at school. Taking an active role in your kids' online activities helps ensure that they benefit from them without being exposed to potential dangers.
And keep updating the conversation as they get older. This isn't a "one and done" talk. Treat it like any other safety discussion — the kind you revisit as they grow and their online world expands.
C Spire Connect & Protect is here to help with plans, parental control setup guides, and more expert-sourced resources for families.